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Finding a good friend and losing sleep

I do not make friends easily. Maybe because, I had changed over 8
schools in 12 years, and I had to make friends quickly and forget them
too within a short period of time. Maybe I was an introvert for most
of my childhood; now I am getting better. I have very little friend
circle who are close. Of course, I have a very large shallow friend
circle (from blog/online networks). It doesn't mean that I ignore the
later group. When I am talking to a friend, I would try to be
attentive 100%. I won't even take any phone calls (unless someone is
dying on the other end). I have always wondered why we like some
people and not others. No, don't say that 'D' word.

When I get introduced to someone, I stay distant from them for a few
meet-ups. But, I don't know the exact moment when they become close
friends or not. Even I don't even know why some become close and
others. I have observed this even with my online/blog friends. There
is only handful of them I am in touch with. I really don't know why.

From my childhood, it has been like this. When I see a person who
attracts me, I won't have the courage to go and ask if they would be
interested in making me one of their friends. Instead, I just wish. I
wish that it would be nice if we become friends. Then after a period
(days/weeks/months), some mysterious reasons will put as together.
Then we become friends. Knowing that I got a friend with whom I wanted
friendship, I will lose my sleep with happiness. Recently, it happened
again. It was like rediscovering the good old, childhood.


Mm. Did you ask me who the friend is? Well, I could say that to you,
but you have not come closer to me. Yet.

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